Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Enormous Crystal Balls: Prediction By Position

I predict me and TD will try all sorts of positions


By Spezzal Teams Playa

So you guys already saw this shit, even though I strictly forbid you from doing so. I figured, why not throw it up on here, so that at the end of the season, I can point to it and laugh.


Starting Pitchers

1. Lincecum – led in K/9 (10.42)
2. Greinke – led in ERA (2.16)
3. Hernandez – led in W (19), QS (29)
4. Halladay – led in K/BB (5.94), BB/9 (1.318)
5. Sabathia – led in W (19)
6. Verlander – led in IP (240.0), W (19), K (269)
7. Haren – led in WHIP (1.00)
8. Wainwright – led in W (19)
9. Santana – only 73rd in IP (166.2), will improve
10. Johnson – 8th in QS (23)
11. Lester – 3rd in K/9 (9.96)
12. Carpenter – runner-up in WHIP (1.01), ERA (2.24)
13. Lee – 3rd in BB/9 (1.671)
14. Beckett – 5th in W (17)
15. Gallardo – runner-up in H/9 (7.271)
16. Hamels – 6th in BB/9 (1.998)
17. Kershaw – led in H/9 (6.263)
18. Hanson – 5th in H/9 (7.402)
19. Vazquez – 3rd in WHIP (1.03), K/BB (5.41)
20. Cain – 9th in ERA (2.89)

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Catchers

1. Mauer – led in R (94), H (191), HR (28), XBH (59), BB (76), AVG (.365), OBP (.444), OPS (1.031)
2. Martinez – led in AB (588), RBI (108)
3. McCann – runner-up in 2B (35), XBH (57)
4. Montero – 5th in 2B (30), despite being only 11th in AB (425)
5. Weiters – only 20th in AB (354), will improve
6. Martin – led in SB (11)
7. Soto – 5th in BB (50), despite being only 21st in AB (331)
8. Posada – 4th in HR (22), despite being only 15th in AB (383)
9. Napoli – 6th in HR (20), despite being only 16th in AB (382)
10. Doumit – runner-up in SB% (4-for-4), despite being only in AB (280)
11. Molina, B. – 6th in AB (491), RBI (80), HR (20), XBH (46)
12. Suzuki – runner-up in AB (570)
13. Pierzinski – 3rd in AVG (.300)
14. Molina, Y. – runner-up in SB (9)
15. Baker – 7th in 2B (25), despite being only 18th in AB (373)
16. Ianetta – 7th in OPS (.804)
17. Hernandez – only 24th in AB (287), 1B-eligible
18. Ruiz – 18th in H (82), despite being only 22nd in AB (322)
19. Posey – only 17 AB in 2009, will improve
20. Rodriguez – 10th in R (55)

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First Basemen

1. Pujols – led in R (124), HR (47), XBH (93), OBP (.443), OPS (1.101)
2. Cabrera – led in H (198)
3. Fielder – led in RBI (141)
4. Teixeira – 3rd in R (103), XBH (85), SB% (2-for-2)
5. Howard – led in AB (616), RBI (141)
6. Reynolds – led in SB (24), NSB (15), 3B-eligible
7. Votto – 3rd in OPS (.981)
8. Youkilis – 4th in OPS (.961), NSB (5)
9. Morneau – 12th in RBI (100), despite being only 25th in AB (508)
10. Gonzalez – led in BB (119)
11. Sandoval – led in AVG (.330)
12. Martinez – 5th in H (178)
13. Berkman – 5th in BB (97)
14. Morales – 5th in AVG (.306)
15. Butler – 4th in H (183)
16. Dunn – runner-up in BB (116)
17. Lee – 4th in OPS (.972)
18. Pena – 6th in HR (39)
19. Lopez – runner-up in AB (613)
20. Davis – only 40th in AB (391), will improve

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Second Basemen

1. Utley – led in SB% (23-for-23)
2. Kinsler – led in SB (31), NSB (26)
3. Pedroia – led in R (115)
4. Phillips – runner-up in RBI (98)
5. Cano – led in AVG (.320), H (204), XBH (75)
6. Hill – led in HR (36), RBI (108), AB (682)
7. Roberts – led in 2B (56)
8. Zobrist – led in OBP (.405), OPS (.948)
9. Kendrick – only 35th in AB (374), will improve
10. Uggla – led in BB (92)
11. Lopez, J. – 3rd in RBI (96)
12. Cabrera – 3rd in AVG (.308), SS-eligible
13. Stewart – 6th in HR (25), despite being only 25th in AB (425)
14. Weeks – 5th in OPS (.857)
15. Polanco – 5th in AB (618)
16. Prado – 4th in AVG (.307)
17. Hudson – 3rd in SB% (8-for-9)
18. McGehee – 4th in OPS (.859)
19. Barmes – 9th in HR (23)
20. Sizemore – rookie phenom

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Third Basemen

1. Rodriguez – 3rd in OPS (.934), BB (80)
2. Longoria – led in RBI (113), 2B (44), XBH (77), SB% (9-for-9)
3. Wright – runner-up in SB (27), NSB (18)
4. Reynolds – led in HR (44)
5. Zimmerman – runner-up in AB (610), R (110), HR (33), RBI (106)
6. Youkilis – led in OBP (.413), OPS (.961), 1B-eligible
7. Sandoval – led in H (189), 2B (44), AVG (.330)
8. Ramirez – 3rd in AVG (.317)
9. Figgins – led in AB (615), R (114), BB (101), SB (42), NSB (25)
10. Young – runner-up in AVG (.322)
11. Beckham – only 37th in AB (378), will improve
12. Jones – led in BB (101)
13. Davis – 11th in HR (21)
14. Beltre – 7th in SB (13), NSB (11)
15. Stewart – 7th in HR (25)
16. Cantu – 3rd in AB (585), 2B (42)
17. Peralta – 5th in AB (582)
18. Prado – 4th in AVG (.307)
19. DeRosa – 9th in HR (23)
20. Gordon – runner-up in SB% (5-for-5)

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Shortstops

1. Ramirez, H. – led in RBI (106), AVG (.342), OBP (.410), OPS (.953)
2. Tulowitzki – led in HR (32)
3. Reyes – only 60th in AB (147), will improve
4. Rollins – led in AB (672), XBH (69)
5. Jeter – led in H (212), R (107)
6. Zobrist – led in BB (91)
7. Ramirez, A. – 8th in HR (15), despite being only 12th in AB (542)
8. Bartlett – 3rd in AVG (.320), SB (30), NSB (23)
9. Andrus – led in SB (33), NSB (27)
10. Cabrera, A. – 6th in AVG (.308)
11. Drew – led in 3B (12)
12. Escobar, Y. – 6th in OPS (.813), OBP (.377)
13. Furcal – 5th in AB (613), BB (61)
14. Cabrera, E. – 6th in SB (25)
15. Peralta – 5th in RBI (83)
16. Tejada – runner-up in H (199)
17. Escobar, A. – 7th in AVG (.304)
18. Scutaro – runner-up in BB (90)
19. Theriot – 5th in H (171)
20. Cabrera, O. – 2nd in AB (656)

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Left Fielders

1. Braun – led in AB (635), R (113), H (203)
2. Holliday – 3rd in AVG (.313)
3. Crawford – led in SB (60)
4. Lind – runner-up in RBI (114)
5. Bay – led in RBI (119), OFA (15), FPCT (1.000)
6. Lee – runner-up in AB (610)
7. Choo – 4th in BB (78), OFA (11)
8. Dunn – led in HR (38), BB (116)
9. Abreu – runner-up in BB (94)
10. Quentin – 6th in SB% (3-for-3)
11. Ramirez – led in OPS (.949)
12. Gonzalez – 8th in FPCT (.988)
13. Ibanez – 4th in HR (34), SB% (4-for-4)
14. Soriano – only 27th in AB (477), will improve
15. Kubel – 6th in HR (28), RBI (103)
16. Span – led in Put-Outs (350)
17. Damon – led in SB% (12-for-12)
18. Borbon – 4th in AVG (.312)
19. Reimold – 15th in OPS (.831)
20. Morgan – runner-up in SB (42), OFA (13)

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Center Fielders

1. Kemp – led in RBI (101), OFA (14)
2. Ellsbury – led in H (188), SB (70)
3. Sizemore – runner-up in FPCT (1.000)
4. Granderson – led in AB (631), Put-Outs (400)
5. Werth – led in HR (36), BB (91)
6. Zobrist – led in OPS (.948), BB (91), ASST (247), DPT (55)
7. Upton – 3rd in SB (42), Put-Outs (375)
8. Hamilton – only 47th in AB (336), will improve
9. Victorino – led in R (102)
10. McCutchen – 7th in OPS (.836), OFA (10)
11. Jones – 8th in HR (19), RBI (70)
12. Hunter – 4th in RBI (90)
13. Gonzalez – 4th in OPS (.878)
14. McLouth – 3rd in DPT (4)
15. Span – runner-up in AVG (.311)
16. Bourn – runner-up in SB (61)
17. Rios – 6th in RBI (71)
18. Stubbs – 6th in FPCT (1.000)
19. Morgan – runner-up in OFA (13)
20. Pierre – 3rd in AVG (.308)

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Right Fielders

1. Kemp – led in SB (34), Put-Outs (377)
2. Upton – only 19th in AB (526), will improve
3. Suzuki – led in H (225), AVG (.352)
4. Werth – led in R (98)
5. Cruz – 3rd in HR (33)
6. Markakis – led in AB (642)
7. Ethier – led in RBI (106)
8. Zobrist – led in OPS (.948)
9. Hamilton – only 55th in AB (336), will improve
10. Choo – 3rd in AVG (.300)
11. Dunn – led in HR (38), BB (116), Put-Outs (673)
12. Abreu – runner-up in SB (30), BB (94)
13. Pence – led in OFA (16)
14. Bruce – 4th in OFA (11)
15. Kubel – 3rd in OPS (.908), AVG (.300), RBI (103)
16. Hawpe – 4th in OPS (.903)
17. Span – runner-up in AVG (.311), R (97)
18. Rios – 4th in Put-Outs (329)
19. Cuddyer – runner-up in Put-Outs (488)
20. Ludwick – 5th in DPT (4)

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Relief Pitchers

1. Rivera – led in NSV (42)
2. Papelbon – 5th in SV (38), NSV (35), ERA (1.85)
3. Broxton – led in W (7), K (114)
4. Soria – 4th in K/9 (11.72)
5. Bailey – led in IP (83.1)
6. Rodriguez – 7th in SVOP (42)
7. Marmol – led in HLD (27)
8. Wilson – 4th in W (5), SVOP (45)
9. Bell – runner-up in W (6), SVOP (48)
10. Soriano – runner-up in K (102)
11. Cordero – 4th in SV (39)
12. Valverde – 5th in W (4)
13. Aardsma – 3rd in HLD (6)
14. Jenks – 7th in BB/9 (2.700)
15. Fuentes – led in SV (48), SVOP (55)
16. Hoffman – 3rd in ERA (1.83)
17. Francisco – 7th in K/9 (10.40), K/BB (3.80), BB/9 (2.736)
18. Wagner – led in ERA (1.72), K/9 (14.94)
19. Gonzalez – 4th in W (5)
20. Feliz – led in WHIP (0.68), H/9 (3.774)



Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The STP Constitution: The 2010 Baseball League

By mousing over this document, you have agreed to all items within it, and have added your very own John Hancock

By Thomas Jefferson and Spezzal Teams Playa

WE THE PEOPLE of the Sports Talk Pool, in order to form a more perfect union, do ordain this Constitution. All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives. The Senate shall be composed of a Senator from each Division. No person shall be a Senator who shall not have been 6 months a citizen of the Sports Talk Pool. The Commish shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no vote unless they be equally divided. All bills shall originate in the House of Representatives. Every bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate shall, before it becomes law, be presented to the Commish. If he approves he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it with his objections to the House of Representatives who shall proceed to reconsider it. If after such reconsideration 2/3 of the House shall agree to pass the bill, it shall be sent to the Senate by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by 2/3 of that House, it shall become law. The Congress shall have power to regulate commerce among the teams by voting against trades or drops. A majority vote in the Senate, or 7 total votes, shall result in an automatic veto. Executive power shall be vested in the Commish. He shall be responsible for weekly waiver resets. In case of removal of the Commish from Office due to resignation or inability to discharge the powers and duties of said Office, the same shall devolve on the President pro tempore and such officer shall act accordingly until the disability be removed and shall take the following oath: "I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of Commish and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution”. The Commish shall have power to grant pardons. The Congress, whenever 2/3 of both Houses shall deem it necessary or on the application of 3 Divisions, shall propose Amendments

1st Amendment: Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble (excluding collusion) and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

2nd Amendment:A well regulated government, being necessary to the security of a free league, and the right of the people to keep and bear opinions, shall not be infringed

3rd Amendment:No official shall, in time of peace nor in time of war, manipulate the roster of another, but in a manner to be prescribed by law

4th Amendment:The right of the people to be secure in their players, teams and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated. No warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause and particularly describing the players or teams to be seized

5th Amendment:No person shall be held to answer for a crime unless on indictment, nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb, nor shall be compelled to be a witness against himself

6th Amendment:In all prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial by jury and to be informed of the nature of the accusation, to be confronted with the witnesses against him, to have process for obtaining witnesses in his favor and to have assistance of counsel

7th Amendment:No fact tried by jury shall be re-examined than according to the rules of the common law

8th Amendment:Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted

9th Amendment:The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people

10th Amendment:The powers not delegated by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it, are reserved by the Commish

11th Amendment:Judicial power shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law commenced against the Commish

12th Amendment:The Senators shall vote for President pro tempore and shall not vote for himself. If no person has a plurality, then from the persons having the most votes, the House of Representatives shall choose by ballot

13th Amendment:Neither slavery nor involuntary team forfeiture, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the Sports Talk Pool

14th Amendment:All persons naturalized are citizens of the Sports Talk Pool

15th Amendment:The right of citizens to vote shall not be denied on account of race

16th Amendment:The Congress shall have power to lay penalties

17th Amendment:When vacancies happen in the Senate, the Representatives of such Division shall issue writs of election

18th Amendment:The manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited

19th Amendment:The right of citizens to vote shall not be denied on account of sex

20th Amendment:The members shall submit a blog post at least once every calendar month and such requirement shall begin at 12:01 AM ET on the 1st day of April

21st Amendment:The 18th amendment is hereby repealed

22nd Amendment:No person shall be elected President pro tempore more than once

23rd Amendment:The Commish shall retain voting rights equal to the Representatives

24th Amendment:The right of citizens to vote shall not be denied by reason of failure to adhere to mandatory weekly attendance

25th Amendment:The right of citizens to be updated via this blog, on any further Amendments, shall not be denied

Flashback: 2009 Baseball League Final Standings

Click to enlarge

By Spezzal Teams Playa

The year was two-thousand-and-nine. October.

The Minnesota Twins had just beaten the Detroit Tigers in a one-game 'play-in' to reach the post-season. A loaf of bread cost $2.79. And Michael Buble's Crazy Love dropped as the number one album in the U.S.

Those were heady days, indeed. And you know what they say, "If you can remember the Fall of '09, you probably weren't there". Well lucky for you folks, this little article should help jog your memories a little.

Now I know that you can just click on the '2010' drag-down box on the league page and get all this same information, but I wanted to re-package it here, complete with adjustments made for defunct teams. So first, let me show you the complete standings, as seen in the image above. If you click on it, it gets bigger (that's what she said).

1. trader dick's team (defunct)
2. Dakota Magic (Eastside Slammers)
3. Chesapeake Abyss
4. Charlestown Chiefs (defunct)
5. St.Louis Redbirds (Billy Stevens)
6. Fowl Play
7. Obama's Teleprompter (defunct)
8. Sunnyvale Shithawks (Toronto Maple Leafs)
9. CT Defenders
10. Muff Divers (Clubhouse Chemistry)
11. Stittsville Two-Phors (Nepean Hotspurs)
12. Hell Lions
13. Sierra Menace (defunct)
14. Beantown Blackouts (defunct)
15. Gloucester Expos (defunct)
16. Perrysburg Pain (Phungus)
17. Odds-On Fav (relegated to AAA)
18. Funky Cold Medina (relegated to AAA)
19. Montreal Royals (relegated to AAA)
20. Portland Sea Dogs (relegated to AAA)


As you can see, we lost a bunch of franchises to bankruptcy over the winter months, including the Defending League Champion, trader dick. In total, we only have ten of last year's twenty managers returning, but as I pointed out in a previous article, all 20 of us are Sports Talk Pool veterans from at least one of the 9 officially recognized STP leagues.

A few of us (Koo Koo Roos, Dallas All-Stars and Oregon Lightning Bolts) earned promotions from last year's AAA leagues, like the deep Hitters-Only League or the ill-conceived Fielding-Only League, bringing to 13 the number of us who played STP baseball last year. The other seven managers are all veterans of the other sports leagues.

So if we take out the ten defunct franchises from last season, we can head into this new year with the following adjusted Final Standings:

1. Dakota Magic
2. Chesapeake Abyss
3. St.Louis Redbirds
4. Fowl Play
5. Sunnyvale Shithawks
6. Connecticut Defenders
7. Muff Divers
8. Stittsville Two-Phors
9. Hell Lions
10. Perrysburg Pain


When you look at it this way, we all did a bit better. I know I'm happy with 8th place.



Awards Show Gala: The 2009-10 Hockey League



By Spezzal Teams Playa

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the 3rd annual Sports Talk Pool Hockey League Awards. Well, that was a mouthful. Tonight's gala is brought to you by the TD Bank.

TD Bank. We're open late.

We'll begin tonight's show with the awards given to team managers, before proceeding to the individual awards portion of the telecast. Remember, we're all winners here. It's an honour just to be nominated.

(*the announced nominee portions of the show have been edited out, due to time constraints).

Without further ado, here is the evening's first winner:

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Presidents' Trophy

"Awarded to the club finishing the regular season with the best overall record"


The winner of the 2010 Presidents' Trophy is ....

Plano Flames ....

.... for his dominant wire-to-wire season at the top of the Standings, where he finished 55 points ahead of the runner-up (or 27.5 games ahead).

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William M. Jennings Trophy

"Awarded to the team with the lowest Goals Against Average in the regular season"


The winner of the 2010 Jennings Trophy is ....

El Paso Marlboros and Frozen Bastards ....

.... for their amazing 2.35 averages after 84 Games Started apiece.

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King Clancy Memorial Trophy

"Awarded to the player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made a noteworthy humanitarian contribution in his community"


The winner of the 2010 Clancy Trophy is ....

Cherry Blasts ....

.... for his efforts in the early part of the season to stimulate discussion on this blog and on the league's Message Board.

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Lifetime Achievement Award

"Awarded to a Sports Talk Pool veteran in recognition of their contributions to the league"


The winner of the 2010 Lifetime Achievement Award is ....

Sunnyvale Shithawks ....

.... for his long-time contributions to this blog and to the league's Message Board, over the past three years.

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Jack Adams Award

"Awarded to the Sports Talk Pool manager adjudged to have contributed the most to his team's success"


The winner of the 2010 Adams Award is ....

Minnesota Frostbite ....

.... for his relentless pursuit of the perfect roster, having used 83 Adds and 5 Trades to put his team in 2nd-place.

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2010 Hockey Hall of Fame Inductees

Ed Belfour
Joe Niewendyk
Dino Ciccarelli
Angela James
Pat Burns

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Roger Crozier Saving Grace Award

"Awarded to the goaltender who has played a minimum of 25 games in the regular season and has the highest save percentage"


The winner of the 2010 Crozier Award is ....

Ryan Miller [plano], for his incredible .929 Save% behind a porous Buffalo blueline.

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NHL Plus-Minus Award

"Awarded to the player with the highest plus/minus statistic in the regular season"


The winner of the old Alka Seltzer / Bud Light Award for 2010 is ....

Alexander Ovechkin [nepean], for his +42 cherry-pickin' style that proves that this dumb stat has nothing to do with defence and should be mothballed alongside the former sponsors of this worst-named trophy of the evening.

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Art Ross Trophy

"Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season"


The winner of the 2010 Art Ross is ....

Alexander Ovechkin [nepean], for his masterful 97-point performance in spite of all the suspensions and injuries that forced him to miss 10 games.

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Maurice 'Rocket' Richard Trophy

"Awarded to the top goal scorer in the regular season"


The winner of the 2010 Richard is ....

Alexander Ovechkin [nepean] and Sydney Crosby [ct], for their season-long battle that ended in a tie with each player potting 45 Goals.

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Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy

"Awarded to the player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey"


The winner of the 2010 Masterton is ....

Marian Gaborik [frozen], for his astonishing 66 of the 72 Rangers games, on top of his gruelling Olympics schedule where he played through obvious pain, after he played only 17 games last season.

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Lady Byng Trophy

"Awarded to the player who exhibited outstanding sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability"


The winner of the 2010 Lady Byng is ....

Martin St.Louis [calgary], for his 83 points and only 12 PiMs, proving that you don't need to muck it up to get to the net.

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Frank J. Selke Trophy

"Awarded to the forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game"


The winner of the 2010 Selke is ....

Alex Burrows [minnesota], for his responsable play that allows the Sedins to focus on offence, in spite of what the PHWA has come to treat as a best two-way player award, wherein Burrows won't even be considered alongside his more offensively-minded team-mate, Ryan Kesler.

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Calder Memorial Trophy

"Awarded to the league's most outstanding rookie player"


The winner of the 2010 Calder is ....

Jimmy Howard [plano], for his rescue of the Red Wings record streak of making the playoffs, with 53 GP and amazing stats.

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James Norris Memorial Trophy

"Awarded to the defense player who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position"


The winner of the 2010 Norris is ....

Mike Green [stl], whose prior criticism revolved around his revolving door defensive traits, but who has improved his game enough to earn this trophy with another dominant offensive season.

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Vezina Trophy

"Awarded to the league's top goaltender"


The winner of the 2010 Vezina is ....

Ryan Miller [plano], for his almost single-handed Division title for a team that lacks firepower.

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Lester Patrick Trophy

"Presented to honor a recipient's contribution to ice hockey in the United States"


The winner of the 2010 Lester Patrick is ....

Ryan Miller [plano], for his almost single-handed Silver Medal for a team that lacked firepower.

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First Team All-Stars

Miller
Green
Keith
Ovechkin
Crosby
Sedin, H.


Second Team All-Stars

Rask
Doughty
Myers
Stamkos
Thornton
Kane

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Hart Memorial Trophy

"Awarded to the league's most valuable player"


The winner of the 2010 Hart is ....

Alexander Ovechkin [nepean], for his dominance in so many categories, in spite of missing 10 of Washington's 72 games.



The All-Time Teams: We're Puttin' on the Foil !

Co-starring Charles Bronson as Ted Lindsey

By The Ol' Heave-Whore

Here's my view of the all-time toughest, meanest, and best team to play against. An all-star team might beat them, if they managed to last until the end of the game.


RW1 - Gordie Howe
C1 - Mark Messier
LW1 - Ted Lindsey

RW1 - Rocket Richard
C2 - Bobby Clarke
LW2 - Dave Schultz

RW3 - Cam Neely
C3 - Dale Hunter
LW3 - John Ferguson

RW4 - Rick Tocchet
C4 - Ken Linseman
LW4 - Tiger Williams

D1 - Eddy Shore
D1 - Bobby Orr

D2 - Zdeno Chara
D2 - Chris Pronger

D3 - Chris Chelios
D3 - Scott Stevens

G1 - Billy Smith
G2 - Ron Hextall