Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Enormous Crystal Balls: NHL 2009 (Eastern)

by Hockey Guru, Will-He-M and Spezzal Teams Playa

The best series of Round One

I know that you’ve probably heard all this stuff before. Hell, you might even have read these exact words elsewhere. Nevertheless, DJ Spezzal Teams presents the 2009 Playoff Preview Mash Up (Eastside Club Mix). Enjoy.


Montreal (8) at Boston (1)

You know these two are gonna finally go at it

Hockey Guru: It’s deja vu all over again. The exact rematch of the #1-8 series from 2008, but in a Bizarro world, the Bruins are the one-seed, and Montreal the eight-seed. The odds will be overwhelmingly for the Bruins, but they have had a dream season with minimal adversity. They may be the Rodney Dangerfield of the 2008-09 season - they didn't get too much respect. The Bruins went through the season with playoff intensity, throughout. The Krejci-Ryder-Wheeler line was unbelievable, for a stretch during the season. Krejci was a Top 10 player for a month, but hasn't sniffed that level in some time. Ryder has a history of disappearing and Wheeler is a rookie that may have hit the wall. In my opinion, the Bruins don't have another level to which to raise their game, but their game is already at a high-level and may be enough to make a serious run. However, I'm not a believer. If the Habs were healthy on the blueline, they'd easily be my pick for the series. The "second season" gives them a chance to start over with a clean slate after a tumultuous season. So basically the Guru (I'm now writing in the 3rd person) calls this series a toss-up; a pick'em. If the Bruins get off to a good start and win their home games, and gain some confidence and swagger, it could be over in five. But, the Guru isn't afraid to look stupid (some would argue it comes naturally to him). The belief is that they may have false confidence, thinking that being the number one seed means something in itself, when it doesn't. If you're still reading this, I apologize. If, however, you are reading this because my wife is trying to have me committed, then I'll go voluntarily, if I can have the NHL package. Guru's prognostications are totally wrong, but hopefully they were more entertaining than the countless articles we'll be reading this week. Prediction: Bruins in 7 (this way, if Montreal wins, I can say that I knew it would be close) Prediction: Montreal.

Will-he-M: For the millionth time in NHL history, the Habs and Bruins meet. For some reason, it doesn't matter where Montreal finishes. 1st or 8th, they play the Bruins tough, and win. Remember 2002? Bruins finish 2nd overall in the NHL, meet the Habs, thinking cakewalk. What happens? Bruins lose in 6. Remember 2004? Bruins finish 4th in the NHL standings, play the lowly Habs again. They think they know what to do now. What happens? Bruins blow a 3-1 series lead and Habs move on while Joe Thornton again proves why he can't play in the Playoffs (0 points in 7 games). The Habs’ PP will be fine with young Yannick Weber and old Mathieu Schneider capitalizing on Boston's need to bully the Habs. (The Habs’ PP scored 3 times against the Bruins on Thursday). Last year the Bruins surprised the Habs, but come Game 7, Tim Thomas shat the bed, and Carey Price stood on his head. And with word that Andrei Markov will be ready by Game 1, that alone improves the Habs’ chances greatly. Prediction: Habs in 6.

Spezzal Teams Playa: You’re both wrong! Nah – jus’ kidding. I always wanted to say that in a format like this. It’s like we’re sitting beside each other on a panel, discussing this in real time. Cooool. Anyway, yes, these two teams have met a lot over the years. And yes the Habs have dominated. I’m not sure where Vegas has them, but I’d bet it’s somewhere close to “biggest long shot” to come out of Round 1. So who knows? Being a massive homer, I’m probably giving them too much credit, but I too see the Bruins faltering. Prediction: Canadiens in 7.


New York (7) at Washington (2)


We're approaching the anniversary of the Avery Rule

Guru: Ovechkin on Broadway. Rangers have the goalie to win but may not have the players in front of the goalie. Capitals have the players to win but may not have the goalie to win. The Guru loves watching the Caps. Mike Green and these Russians named Alex are pretty good hockey players. If only a Russian were in net it would be easy to pick the Caps. The Rangers were boring hockey personified, but since the coaching change, they actually skate and fore check. This could be a wide-open series, with the clear edge in scoring to the Caps and the clear edge in goaltending to the Rangers. Conventional wisdom is that defense wins in the playoffs. Conventional wisdom is to draft your team and hold. Guru likes streaming. Guru likes offense. Guru likes Washington in the series. Prediction: Caps in 5 (I'll be bold here) .

Will: These teams are complete opposites. The Caps have two great forwards, one great defenceman and no goalie. Rangers have several under-achievers on offence and defence, and a goalie who is considered one of the best. This series will be a cakewalk for the Caps, but Lundqvist will give the appearance that the Rangers stood a chance. Prediction: Caps in 5.

Spezzal Teams Playa: If you had asked me, I might have ranked cake waaaay down on the list of most desirable strolling surfaces. Not all the way down near hot coals or broken glass, and not even as low as a new gravel road in bare feet, but certainly below cold wet grass and even knee-high snow. With skates on, cakewalking can only get worse. Forget about Green, and his supposedly adequate defensive abilities, when your next best blue liner is a toss-up between Erskine, Pothier and Jeff Schultz, aren’t you depending a lot upon your goaltender? That’s not even mentioning the 17-18 minutes per game that Theodore will be helped by the tandem of Jurcina-Morrisonn. That said, the Rangers just don’t have the top-end talent to answer almost ten goals from Ovie. Prediction: Capitals in 6.


Carolina (6) at New Jersey (3)


How long until the next Staal family bachelor party ?

Guru: Based on their histories, this would appear to be a trapping snore fest - a soccer game on ice. Au contraire mon frere, this is 2009 - and both teams have become more aggressive, finishing in the middle of the pack, in terms of goal scoring. Maybe the best thing about this series is it's a first round series and there'll be other games to watch. Seriously, this series seems to be of little interest and would only be rated as the 7th or 8th most interesting series in the 1st Round. But from low expectations, you can be pleasantly surprised. It's like fantasy drafts - sure you're happy with Eric Staal's season this year, but for a 2nd Rounder, you kind of expected it. On the other hand, you’re psyched for 45 goals from Zach Parise in the 5th Round. The Devils were written off before the season. When Brodeur went down, the book was closed. This team is like Jason in the horror movies - they don't go away. But the Guru predicts that Cam Ward will rival Marty Brodeur in this series and that Eric Staal and the Whaler-canes will advance.

Will: This series will be won by goaltending. The greatest of all time, versus the (thus far) one-year (playoff) wonder. I've bet on Brodeur before in the face of adversity and lost. He struggled, to end the season, and I see that continuing. Prediction: Canes in 7.

Spezzal Teams Playa: I was beginning to get worried about the level of consensus in the room until now. I honestly don’t know what I would have said, had the two of you picked the Devils. I just might have abandoned my pick of the East to avoid agreeing with you guys a third time. Thank God that wasn’t necessary. I’m not discouraged by Fat Marty’s lacklustre play of late. The guy should have plenty in the tank after taking his first months-long vacation since he was 10 years old. Prediction: Devils in 4 straight.



Philadelphia (5) at Pittsburgh (4)


Will he perform his playoff disappearing act this year ?

Guru: The re-match of the Eastern Conference Finals from a year ago. This time there is no guarantee that the winner gets to play for the Cup. Running out of gas, fingers bleeding, life calling - this one will be quick. The heart wants Pittsburgh, but the head tells me that Philly is going a long way this year. They have a beast of a team to play against for a series. Guru doesn't like going against his heart, but the head says Philly will prevail this time around.

Will: Flyers are vastly over-rated. I have no doubt that they have the forwards to compete, but I question their defence and goaltending. Outside of Timonen and Coburn, who's there? Randy Jones? Matt Carle? Ryan Parent? Andrew Alberts? Not exactly a frightening combination to play against. Biron? Please, the guy's had two mediocre seasons and one good playoff, as a Flyer. He'll crash and burn against the Pens. Prediction: Pens in 6.

Spezzal Teams Playa: I’ll wrap this one up quick – something neither Pennsylvania team will be able to do. Prediction: Penguins in 7 games.



We’ll do a quick run-down of the Western Conference shortly, but we won’t have time to delve into things too deeply.



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