My Enormous Crystal Balls: NHL 2009 (Western)

by Hockey Guru, Will-He-M and Spezzal Teams Playa


After spending all of our time debating the Eastern Conference, we barely have time to scratch the surface out West. Without further ado:


Anaheim (8) at San Jose (1)



Guru: Can't wait for this series. The good news is that it will assure us of doubleheaders, rather than all the games going early. It will be worth staying up late for, but Anaheim doesn't have the goaltending to match Nabokov. And Joe Thorton is a clutch playoff performer (you heard it here first! This will be the year that he proves to be Conn Smythe worthy). Prediction: San Jose advances.

Will: I don't know why but I'm not interested in this series. Anaheim has no business being here and they're going to show it. Sharks will go through this series quickly. Prediction: Sharks in 4.

Spezzal Teams Playa: Somebody’s been eating MY porridge. I mean, this series isn’t too hard or too soft or too hot or too cold. It’s jusssst right. Or maybe this Sens fan simply wants to see the most graphic duck hunt possible – with sharks as the hunters. I guess the image of a shark devouring anything is cool, so a duck really isn’t the most graphically gruesome image imaginable (think shark vs. flame, or shark vs. lightning bolt). Nevertheless, these Ducks are as out-matched as the imagery would suggest. Prediction: San Jose in 5 games.


Columbus (7) at Detroit (2)



Guru: Steve Mason proves yet again that a rookie goalie can't win in the playoffs. Never happened before, won't happen now. Will can confirm this. The Habs have seen promising rookie goalies fall apart under the pressure of the playoffs. Rick Nash is scary good, but Detroit is loaded (except that goalie thing). Detroit can take it up a level, and will. Nash could be helping Team Canada soon. Prediction: Detroit moves on.

Will: A rookie goalie can't win in the playoffs? There are so many things wrong with that statement. Here's a free hockey lesson, Guru. These are the rookie goalies who have led their teams to the Finals, since 1950: Gerry McNeil (Mtl 1950-51), Jacques Plante (Mtl 1953-54), Glenn Hall (Det 1955-56), Don Simmons (Bos 1956-57), Roger Crozier (Det 1965-66, Won Conn Smythe), Ken Dryden (Mtl 1970-71, Won Cup & Conn Smythe), Pete Peters (Phl 1979-80), Andy Moog (Edm 1982-83), Patrick Roy (Mtl 1985-86, Won Cup & Conn Smythe), Mike Vernon (Cgy 1985-86), Ron Hextall (Phl 1986-87, Won Conn Smythe), Cam Ward (Car 2005-06, Won Cup & Conn Smythe). I digress. Now just when I was looking forward to the Jackets playing the Flames, they get passed in the standings. Steve Mason has been on fire all season, pretty much guaranteeing himself the Calder, and making a serious run at the Vezina. The Jackets have a superior man between the pipes and by the time Babcock realizes Osgood shouldn't be in there, the series will be over. Prediction: Jackets in 6.

Spezzal Teams Playa: To be fair to all of the veteran goalies out there, a list of twelve rookies to make the Finals in almost 60 years (or almost 120 goalies in the Finals) might seem like a lot, but how big would the list of rookie goalies that didn’t make the Finals be? Working backwards, you’d have Rinne, Elliott, Quick, Ramo, and Danis. Then you’d have Price, MacDonald, Ellis….The point is, with 4-6 rookies each season, the odds that one of them makes the Finals isn’t that remote. Steve Mason will not be the 13th guy to do it this year, but that’s OK. He’ll do the next best thing. Prediction: Columbus in 6 games.


St. Louis (6) at Vancouver (3)



Guru: Great run St. Louis, (try not to take a step backwards next year), but Roberto Luongo and Mats Sundin will find a way to get Vancouver into Round 2.

Will: I am so keen for this series. The two hottest teams in the NHL going head-to-head. This one is going to be great. I'm not sold on Sundin, as he's been nothing more then a bust in Van-city, recording the worst season of his Hall of Fame career (he posted his worst ever points-per-game and goals-per-game totals). I’m damn glad that he chose not to go to Montreal, but I will admit that I wanted him on the Habs all summer. The only thing that'll keep the Canucks in this series is the phenomenal goaltending that Bobby Lu is sure to provide. I just can't see the Sedins being able to carry the team on their backs. Prediction: Blues in 7.

Spezzal Teams Playa: Back at the All-Star Game, I pointed out to my Avs-lovin’ friends how tightly packed the West had become. They were all lamenting the fact that their team found themselves in 14th place, even after I reminded them of the incredible 1981 turnaround that their franchise had experienced in the second half. Still not impressed, I was forced to bring out the big guns. After Colorado had pulled off back-to-back victories against the two hottest teams at the time (Calgary and Dallas), I boldly offered to wager that the only team below the Avs would, in fact, sneak into 8th place. Whether they thought I wasn’t being serious or if they were concerned about what kind of odds they’d have to give me, the fact that nobody was willing to take my action came as a bit of a relief. Now, these same people refuse to admit that I called St. Louis to leapfrog over six Western teams in two months, when they actually passed 8 teams to grab the 6th seed. All this to say that I have been a big fan of the Blues since I was driving that wagon solo, but now I’m ringing the bell to disembark. Prediction: Vancouver in 5 games.


Calgary (5) at Chicago (4)



Guru: Calgary is not the team it was early in the year. Kiprusoff is not the goalie he was. Chicago is ready now to win. And will. (Way to go out on a limb and predict ZERO upsets in the West).

Will: This series is very reminiscent of the Pens-Sens series, from last year. On the one hand, you have a very young and solid group of players with 2 number one goalies. On the other hand, you have a struggling team since the Trade Deadline (8-11-0), who have an over-worked goalie. I just don't see the Flames being able to compete against the Hawks. Prediction: Hawks in 5.

Spezzal Teams Playa: To those who remember my dust-up with Mother Puckers a few months ago, they can attest to my lack of patience. But how many of you remember the time I locked the Calgary Hitmen from posting messages, for his repeated attempts to get my goad via his insults of Denis Savard and his Hawks? If you can forgive yet another thinly-veiled, self-congratulatory blast from the past, you’ll afford me the opportunity to proclaim another of my early predictions, when I said a year and a half ago that the Hawks would compete for the Cup this Spring. Prediction: Blackhawks in 5 games.


So there you have it people. 24 predictions from the three biggest loudmouths you’ll meet in this league. We also made our picks for each of the subsequent Rounds, which I’ll post shortly. With almost half of the Game 1’s wrapped up as we speak, I thought I should publish this list right away. I have certainly never shied away from long essays, but mapping the layouts has been eating up all of my time this evening. I had hoped to have about ten articles up by now, but I guess I’ll just go ahead and post the Matchups for our pool before getting into the Official Rules, which have basically been laid out already. I just saw New Jersey score, but I assure you I had them all along, so don’t go saying that I only picked them after seeing Game 1. I’ve been wasting spending so much time on this site the past two hours, that I barely even saw any of the games. Now, I’m going to go have a smoke and catch the tail end of tonight’s action.

---

---