By Chris Barrymore
In spite of an overwhelming lack of demand for a new Top Ten List of any kind, and the fact I blew through most of what I would classify as my good ideas last season, and the fact I may have been dealing with a case of writer’s block (even though I am not a writer), I managed to scrape together a new post. Speaking of writer’s block, consider if one had writer’s block and then tried to write about having writer’s block. Said blocked writer could discuss what caused their block to happen, what they did to avoid the daily torment of not writing, and how they successfully overcame it with a 1000 page book about writer’s block. Might work for some, but to me it sounds like a clear path to the asylum.
Yet another clear path to the asylum is having family visit you in three separate waves since the beginning of June, including a certain league manager’s mother. The last of these visits just ended only last Saturday, which is perhaps why I am suddenly feeling motivated and inspired once again. And what better way to exercise that inspiration than to talk about steaming hot women that I will never meet with co-managers who I will also likely never meet.
As always, I digress. We all know that athletes and musicians get all the babes. Despite how much we may adore the significant others in our lives, the women here are quite possibly from another world.
As a follow up to The Top Ten List: Hockey Wives and Girlfriends, I am humbled to present The Top Ten List: Baseball Wives and Girlfriends.
The same disclaimers from the hockey list apply here.
Brittany Binger (Grady Sizemore, Cle) - A former Playmate of the month for Mr. Sizemore.
Krystle Campbell (Ryan Howard, Phi) - I was going to use the requisite "hitting lots of home runs" joke here, but I needed it later on, so let's try this. Ryan Howard is scoring touchdowns with this Eagles' cheerleader more than just on Sundays in the fall.
Joanna Garcia (Nick Swisher, NYY) - Married to the Yankees outfielder since last December, this actress was once the homecoming queen at Florida’s Tampa Catholic High School. For those of you whose minds may be wandering already, let me clarify that this was a co-ed school. Thus, the ability to name a queen and king for prom, as opposed to just a bunch of queens.
Heidi Hamels (Cole Hamels, Phi) – This former Survivor contestant married the Phillies’ pitcher on New Year’s Eve 2006. On Survivor: The Amazon, Heidi lasted longer than most, being the 12th contestant (out of 16) to be voted off. A notable moment of this season occurred during a challenge testing players’ endurance against temptation. While all the players were standing on a pillar, the players were told they would be tempted with various rewards for hopping off voluntarily. Almost immediately, Jenna Morasca (the eventual champion) and Heidi Strobel offered to remove all of their clothes if they were provided with chocolate and peanut butter. The host complied with their request, and a very naked Jenna and Heidi exited the challenge and ate their plates of Oreos and peanut butter. Their escapades earned them a cover shot and pictorial in Playboy.
Marikym Hervieux (Russell Martin, NYY) – He may be having a poor season at the plate (.222 Avg), but something tells me Martin’s average is much higher once he gets home.
Kate Hudson (Alex Rodriguez, NYY) – Although not together any longer, one would hesitate to argue over Ms. Hudson’s inclusion here. It should also be noted that she was once married to The Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson, but eventually separated due to “irreconcilable differences”. This could be taken to mean that good old Chris was just smoking too damn much pot. Now engaged to another musician, Matt Bellamy of Muse, this is one starlet who seems to have eyes for both athletes and musicians. Maybe one day she can find someone who is both.
Diana Roberts (Brian Roberts, Bal) - Brian Roberts is another player having a poor season at the plate (.221 avg), but you know he's hitting home runs after every home game. Ba-dum-chhhh
Minka Kelly (Derek Jeter, NYY) - The Yankees just have it all, don't they. Bright lights, big city, amazing babes. Jeter has been through his share of women, but I'd still be shocked if he didn't stop with this one.
Emily Kuchar (Zack Greinke, Mil) - Emily is a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She is also Miss Daytona Beach USA 2008. However, these two are high school sweethearts, having met at Apopka High School in Orange County, Florida. Awwwwwww.
Jennifer Lopez (Felipe Lopez, TB) – A picture is worth a thousand words, so I need add nothing. Except for one thing: Why is my name not Felipe Lopez? And besides, I must be up to around 800 words by now, no?
Diana Roberts (Brian Roberts, Bal) - Brian Roberts is another player having a poor season at the plate (.221 avg), but you know he's hitting home runs after every home game. Ba-dum-chhhh
