Anal-ytics: Dynasty League Strength of Schedule

By Chris Barrymore

	Current record	Rem Opp W'L	Opp. win %	AVG FP For	Rem Opp Avg FP For	difference
Perrysburg	6-2	26-14	0.65	959.65875	973.44575	-13.787
Mexico	3-5	26-14	0.65	795.945	973.44575	-177.50075
Mean	2-6	26-14	0.65	655.98625	1062.0795	-406.09325
Terrbonne	5-3	23-17	0.575	919.3175	918.072	1.2455
Carp	8-0	23-17	0.575	1074.6075	886.105	188.5025
Fresno	1-7	23-17	0.575	743.7825	978.5895	-234.807
Dakota	1-7	22-18	0.55	693.225	952.13925	-258.91425
Marc	3-5	20-20	0.5	882.79875	903.15175	-20.353
Bora	4-4	20-20	0.5	929.5925	904.76625	24.82625
Wailuku	6-2	20-20	0.5	1129.31125	825.07225	304.239
Laurentides	6-2	20-20	0.5	1067.56625	825.07225	242.494
Westfield	2-6	19-21	0.475	916.6425	808.14425	108.49825
Leicester	3-5	19-21	0.475	891.79	941.2515	-49.4615
El Paso	6-2	19-21	0.475	849.90875	982.59225	-132.6835
Lockport	1-7	18-22	0.45	754.9925	850.778	-95.7855
Durham	7-1	18-22	0.45	1071.69	925.1155	146.5745
Barrymore	5-3	17-23	0.425	1089.615	821.07925	268.53575
Odessa	4-4	16-24	0.4	941.135	899.5425	41.5925
Hogtown	6-2	13-27	0.325	963.3425	842.4285	120.914
Franconia	1-7	12-28	0.3	698.80625	791.76275	-92.9565

Anal-ytics: Redraft League Strength of Schedule

By Chris Barrymore

	Current rec	Rem Opp W-L	Rem Opp winning %	Avg FP For	Avg FP by rem opp	Difference
Rat Bastards	4-4	29-11	0.725	838.54	1004.33175	-165.79175
Leicester	6-2	27-13	0.675	1052.3275	911.59975	140.72775
Barrymore	5-3	26-14	0.65	921.89625	976.7795	-54.88325
Seahawks	5-3	24-16	0.6	888.73875	957.9885	-69.24975
archimedes	7-1	24-16	0.6	1000.085	995.07475	5.01025
Chesapeake	6-2	24-16	0.6	930.7525	918.58625	12.16625
Westfield	7-1	24-16	0.6	1109.765	932.9885	176.7765
Perrysburg	4-4	22-18	0.55	810.23375	935.0345	-124.80075
go birds	0-8	21-19	0.525	677.97	977.21175	-299.24175
Arctic	3-5	20-20	0.5	859.04	925.2855	-66.2455
Hogtown	6-2	20-20	0.5	998.235	873.14275	125.09225
Terrebonne	5-3	19-21	0.475	1024.65125	859.41825	165.233
Laurentides	4-4	19-21	0.475	913.19875	843.71375	69.485
Odessa	4-4	19-21	0.475	921.90125	911.59975	10.3015
Odessa	1-7	18-22	0.45	821.2275	977.0205	-155.793
Durham	5-3	17-23	0.425	1002.2575	934.97325	67.28425
Manoa	2-6	17-23	0.425	927.5675	855.7815	71.786
Lockport	0-8	14-26	0.35	637.15375	962.30675	-325.153
Snickers	4-4	14-26	0.35	1110.52	855.6225	254.8975
Billings	2-6	14-26	0.35	987.27	828.0805	159.1895

Vidi Vici: How I Learned to Stop Wor...Wait What?

By Spezzal Teams Playa


I started writing that title before coming to the realization that:

a) it was going to end up being far too long, and

b) the truth is that I have never stopped worrying and that I will always hate Yahoo


In case you're wondering just what Yahoo did to piss me off this time, check out the results from my Week 7 game in the football league. On Monday night, hours after the end of the Giants/Cowboys game, I noticed that my opponent's DE Justin Tuck had been credited with a Fumble Recovery, which I had witnessed was the result of a Sack/Forced Fumble by my man Barry Cofield. The thing is, Cofield had only been credited with his first Forced Fumble of the game, and not the one that led to Tuck's recovery.

I know that Yahoo is sometimes slow entering in the data (which they seem to do with the automation of a 1950s secretarial pool), but I found it strange that Tuck's part in that 4th quarter play had already been entered, yet Cofield's had not.

Earlier in the day, before the game began, I had predicted a victory for my team, despite being down by almost 3 points, and despite Tuck being projected to outscore Cofield by 7 more that night. These were the only two players in our Matchup who were playing that night. I believe my exact words that evening were, "In the battle for supremecy within the Giants own D-Line, expect to see Cofield out-tackle Tuck by 3 to secure my victory".

Anyway, getting back to the post-game show, I griped about Cofield's missing stats, stating:

"This is a bunch of bullshit right here, is what this shit is. How the fuck does Tuck get to recover a fumble unless Cofield doesn't force that fumble? Not only did I not get that forced fumble, but what else? No sack on that play either? Bullshit, is what that is. And nevermind the fact that Tuck's fat ass got in the way of Cofield recovering his own forced fumble, like a greedy bastard. What's the matter, Tuck? Couldn't take being upstaged by a DT?"

I was speaking mostly tongue-in-cheek, having already cautioned London earlier in the season about putting too much stock in Yahoo's early results that are never "finalized" until the next morning.

I felt the need to put the word finalized in air quotes there because I recently found out that it's not even over when the fat lady sings, exits stage left, get changed into her street clothes, heads over to the all night diner for a late supper, goes home, eats again, goes to bed, wakes up, eats some more, and spends the next few days eating and sleeping. Apparently at Yahoo, it's not over until three days after the fat lady sings.

So fast-forward to Wednesday morning, and my (6-1) team sits in 3rd place, giving me the 18th waiver priority. Before my turn comes up, a whole whack of guys get plucked by the teams "below" me in the standings, including:

• TE Donald Lee
  
• WR Arrelious Benn
  
• WR Brian Robiskie
  
• LB Na'il Diggs
  
• RB Sammy Morris
  

Now I didn't have a pressing need for a WR, nor did I really intend to take a RB, but the truth is that I did put in claims on all three of those players, which makes them slightly different than QB Jon Kitna, who also got picked up in the first wave, between the time the 9th-place team picked and my so-called 3rd-place team picked.

And I may as well have also not even brought up Na'il Diggs because the fact is that, had I been allowed to pick in front of the then 9th-place Colt45 Malt Liquors, my top choice this week was Donald Lee, since my own Tight End was facing his bye.

Anyway, I got my second choice, which was TE Jonathan Stupar - a huge step down from Lee, but someone to plug into my empty TE slot. Had I been allowed to claim Lee in stead of Stupar, then who knows how the rest of the waiver claims would have shaken out. One would assume that Minnesota Snot Bombs would have been stuck with someone as shitty as Stupar, but we'll never know.

So after claiming Stupar, the waiver wheel turned round a few more times, before I got stuck with a Kicker upgrade with my second pick. Those who know my style could attest that upgrading my Kicker would have been my least important waiver move, and the fact that I would soon make three more drops out of RB Julius Jones, QB Matt Moore, and WR Bernard Berrian would seem to confirm that I had been denied at least three waiver claims because of my low priority. By the time Yahoo gave me my least important Kicker upgrade, I had missed out on:

• LB Gary Brackett
  
• RB Vonta Leach
  
• TE Brodie Eldridge
  
• and later, CB Rashean Mathis
  

In the end, I figure that I got screwed out of a quality Tight End, a quality Linebacker, and had I been allowed to drop my Kicker for Brackett, my a 15th waiver priority by the end of Wednesday morning's claims (I ended up 18th, after my kicker was still around to drop for a new kicker).

I then used my undropped players to pick up a Safety, a lesser Linebacker, and a lesser Wideout, who were not even good enough to put in a claim for, the day before.

So all of this happened as a result of Yahoo having called me the 3rd-place team on Monday night, all day Tuesday, and Wednesday morning. It wasn't until Thursday morning that they decided that I was, in fact, the 9th-place team. And that brings me back to the first reason I realized that I still worry that I will always hate Yahoo.



As you can see in the photo above, Cofield (96) is in the process of completing his Sack by the time Tuck (91) arrives on the scene, while freakish specimen, Jason Pierre-Paul (90) looks on, contributing about as much to the play as Tuck has, at this point.

The key phrase here being at this point.

About two seconds later, Tuck would pounce on the loose ball, as is his custom whenever a guy like Cofield is on the ground after making the real play.

But getting back to the snapshot in time that was captured in the above photo, clearly Jon Kitna has already fumbled the ball, Cofield's right arm is still on Kitna's waist, and Tuck's right arm is still down, well behind Cofield's.

The NFL, being the fascists that they are, will not allow me to embed their videos, and the slow-motion replay in this clip is cut off anyway, but it's still as clear to me now as it was on Monday night - Cofield knocked the ball loose.

You can see, even in the caption below the video, that Cofield is credited with the Sack as well as the fumble. The only thing Tuck was given, was the Fumble Recovery (i.e. the glorified spoils of Cofield's play).

Yahoo obviously hears way too many complaints about these types of things, so contacting them was probably pointless. Given their spotty record on clearly defining their own rules (i.e. tie-break procedures), I suppose that this explanation is as clear as it's going to get.

[Update: Yahoo must have heard my cries, because they have now conveniently placed a link on our league page, to the exact page I linked to, above. You can find it right next to where their ever-so-lame You Have Been Awarded A Medal For Making A Comment feature used to be, or where they place the tutorials for newbies, like how to calculate +/- in hockey]

My final decision is that the NFL seems to have ruled that Tuck forced the fumble *cough*Bullshit*cough*, and therefore my Week 7 victory should actually be a loss. The fact that the delay in reporting the error cost me Donald Lee and Gary Brackett sucks. The fact that I was only eight Week 3 points away from a perfect season last night, but now find myself out of the playoffs also sucks, but whaddya gonna do?

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Souvenir Game Program: Football Midseason 2010

By Spezzal Teams Playa

Welcome, everybody. Please take your name tag and sign the guest book. The punch table is over there, and the buffet is along the back wall. I hope you all have fun and get to know your neighbours.

I have listed everyone in order of their seniority within the Sports Talk Pool. You'll note that while most faces are new as opposed to last month's full-season league, only nine of us are actual STP rookies.

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Stittsville Two-Putt

manager: Spezzal Teams Playa

email: spezzalteamsplaya@gmail.com

aliases: Nepean Hotspurs, Tito "TD" O'Dell, Ottawa Roughwaivers

location: Ottawa, Ontario

2009 Football – 14th-place

2008 Football – 10th-place

2010 Baseball - 11th-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 9th-place
2009 Baseball – 11th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 10th-place
2008-2009 Basketball – 1st-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 10th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 4th-place
2007-2008 Hockey – 9th-place


Sunnyvale Redemption

manager: Will-He-M

email: habs_rock_100@hotmail.com

alias: London Pigskin Picks, Sunnyvale Shithawks, Toronto Euros

location: London, Ontario

2009 Football – 6th-place

2010 Baseball - 10th-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 11th-place
2009 Baseball – 8th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 6th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 8th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 8th-place
2007-2008 Hockey – 6th-place


MN Limelighters

manager: Minnesota Chris

email: cjk863@yahoo.com

aliases: MN Sidewinders, Minnesota Snot Bombs, Minnesota Frostbite, Hell Lions, Thorns In Your Side

location: St.Paul, Minnesota

2009 Football – 17th-place

2010 Baseball - 3rd-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 5th-place
2009 Baseball – 12th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 2nd-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 4th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 3rd-place
2007-2008 Hockey – 10th-place


Dakota Bulldogs

manager: Hardee Star

email: hills@sstel.net

aliases: Dakota Flash, Dakota Magic, Eastside Slammers, Hills City Falcons

location: Sioux Falls, South Dakota

2009 Football – 11th-place

2010 Baseball - 19th-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 18th-place
2009 Baseball – 2nd-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 19th-place
2008-2009 Basketball – 7th-place


STL Rams

manager: Scott We Go

email: intothesun8@yahoo.com

aliases: STL Birdmen, STL Young Guns, STL Try-Agains, STL Spirit, Billy Stevens

location: St.Louis, Missouri

2009 Football – 2nd-place

2010 Baseball - 16th-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 17th-place
2010 Baseball - 17th-place
2009 Baseball – 5th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 20th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 14th-place


Manoa Morays

manager: Div'er Down Dave

email: fastwillie.parker@yahoo.com

alias: Fowl Play

location: Manoa, Hawaii

2009 Football – 10th-place

2010 Baseball - 4th-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 13th-place
2009 Baseball – 6th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 6th-place


Isle Wynn

manager: Gary “Ace” Ventura

email: aventuraexisle@yahoo.com

aliases: Ice Landers, Ex-Isles

location: Las Vegas, Nevada

2010 Baseball - 2nd-place

2009-2010 Hockey - 3rd-place


Colt 45 Malt Liquor

manager: Buzz74

email: aaronverklan@yahoo.com

location: Buffalo, New York

2010 Baseball - 6th-place
2010 Baseball (midseason) - 4th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 7th-place


Redskin Mark

manager: Redskin Mark

email: mzentko@earthlink.net

alias: Memphis Redbirds

location: Memphis, Tennessee

2010 Baseball (midseason) – 2nd-place


Ball Hawks

manager: '03 Seahawk Fan

email: seahawkfan2003@yahoo.com

location: Alexandria, Louisiana


Bone Heads

manager: Johnnyplax

email: plaxico077@yahoo.com

location: Idaho Falls, Idaho


Chargée du Fort Laïfe

manager: Brandon Greenz

email: greenzisgood@yahoo.com

location: Fort Laïfe, France


Exeter Ream Hitters

manager: Triple X Dougie

email: xxxdougtodd@yahoo.com

location: Fresno, California


Gridiron Gorillas

manager: Dan Waybelow

email: danrobalo@yahoo.com

location: Houston, Texas


Happy

manager: Tang Hound

email: tangjie_1987@yahoo.com

location: Bald Knob, Arkansas


King of the Hillis

manager: The Cleveland Viking

email: vikings2167@yahoo.com

location: Cleveland, Ohio


Pigskin Paulié

manager: Monsieur Magoo

email: bobbymagoo413@yahoo.com

location: Toulouse, France


Silky Johnson

manager: ERA Erik

email: erakian34@aol.com

location: Kansas City, Kansas

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Souvenir Game Program: Football League 2010

By Spezzal Teams Playa

Welcome, everybody. Please take your name tag and sign the guest book. The punch table is over there, and the buffet is along the back wall. I hope you all have fun and get to know your neighbours.

I have listed everyone in order of their seniority within the Sports Talk Pool. You'll note that while many faces are new from last year's football league, everyone is actually a veteran of at least one STP league.

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Stittsville Two-Phors

manager: Spezzal Teams Playa

email: spezzalteamsplaya@gmail.com

aliases: Nepean Hotspurs, Tito "TD" O'Dell, Ottawa Roughwaivers

location: Ottawa, Ontario

2009 Football – 14th-place

2008 Football – 10th-place

2010 Baseball - 11th-place
2009 Baseball – 11th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 10th-place
2008-2009 Basketball – 1st-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 10th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 4th-place
2007-2008 Hockey – 9th-place


London Pigskin Picks

manager: Will-He-M

email: habs_rock_100@hotmail.com

alias: Sunnyvale Shithawks, Toronto Euros

location: London, Ontario

2009 Football – 6th-place

2010 Baseball - 10th-place
2009 Baseball – 8th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 6th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 8th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 8th-place
2007-2008 Hockey – 6th-place


Minnesota Snot Bombs

manager: Minnesota Chris

email: cjk863@yahoo.com

aliases: Hell Lions, Minnesota Frostbite, Thorns In Your Side

location: St.Paul, Minnesota

2009 Football – 17th-place

2010 Baseball - 3rd-place
2009 Baseball – 12th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 2nd-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 4th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 3rd-place
2007-2008 Hockey – 10th-place


U N C

manager: Mex Francisco

email: uncmex@yahoo.com

location: Chapel Hill, North Carolina

2009 Football – Defending League Champion

2008 Football – 9th-place


Rat Bastards

manager: Yatagon Dan

email: yatagon@hotmail.com

aliases: Sluggin’ Bastards, Crappy Bastards, Frozen Bastards, Evil Baldmen

location: New York, New York

2009 Football – 12th-place

2008 Football – 2nd-place

2010 Baseball - 9th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 2nd-place


Montreal Nerdballers

manager: The Ol' Heave-Whore

email: heavebrow@bell.net

aliases: Green Day Hackers, Quebec Ham Parts, Koivulev

location: Montreal, Quebec

2009 Football – 7th-place

2009-2010 Hockey - 16th-place
2008-2009 Hockey - 6th-place


Muff Divers

manager: Hockey Guru

email: cbsbaseball2002@yahoo.com

aliases: Clubhouse Chemistry, Cherry Blasts, Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em

location: Worcester, Massachussetts

2009 Football – 9th-place

2010 Baseball - 5th-place
2009 Baseball – 10th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 5th-place
2008-2009 Hockey – 5th-place


Chesapeake Abyss

manager: Astropolis Tom

email: astropolisfantasy@yahoo.com

aliases: Chesbay Juggernaughts, Tic Tic Boom

location: Virginia Beach, Virginia

2009 Football – 4th-place

2010 Baseball - 7th-place
2009 Baseball – 3rd-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 14th-place
2008-2009 Basketball – 2nd-place


Dakota Flash

manager: Hardee Star

email: hills@sstel.net

aliases: Dakota Magic, Eastside Slammers, Hills City Falcons

location: Sioux Falls, South Dakota

2009 Football – 11th-place

2010 Baseball - 19th-place
2009 Baseball – 2nd-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 19th-place
2008-2009 Basketball – 7th-place


Cleveland Keepers

manager: Trader Dick

email: krb1keeper@yahoo.com

location: Cleveland, Ohio

2009 Football - 18th-place

2009 Baseball – Champion

2009-2010 Basketball - 18th-place
2008-2009 Basketball - 3rd-place


STL Birdmen

manager: Scott We Go

email: intothesun8@yahoo.com

aliases: STL Young Guns, STL Spirit, Billy Stevens

location: St.Louis, Missouri

2009 Football – 2nd-place

2010 Baseball - 16th-place
2009 Baseball – 5th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 20th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 14th-place


Manoa Morays

manager: Div'er Down Dave

email: fastwillie.parker@yahoo.com

alias: Fowl Play

location: Manoa, Hawaii

2009 Football – 10th-place

2010 Baseball - 4th-place
2009 Baseball – 6th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 6th-place


Perrysburg Phreakz

manager: Big Storm

email: lonnitschke@hotmail.com

aliases: Perrysburg Pain, Perrysburg Phungus, Perrysburg Polar Bears

location: Perrysburg, Ohio

2010 Baseball - Reigning Champion
2009 Baseball – 16th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 18th-place


El Paso Sauce

manager: Paul Mirror

email: ezdickpimpshit@yahoo.com

aliases: El Paso Jackasses, El Paso Marlboros, El Paso Lizard Brothers

location: Colorado Springs, Colorado

2009 Football – 5th-place

2010 Baseball - 20th-place

2009-2010 Hockey – 9th-place


Isle Wynn

manager: Gary “Ace” Ventura

email: aventuraexisle@yahoo.com

alias: Ex-Isles

location: Las Vegas, Nevada

2010 Baseball - 2nd-place

2009-2010 Hockey - 3rd-place


Colt 45 Malt Liquor

manager: Buzz74

email: aaronverklan@yahoo.com

location: Buffalo, New York

2010 Baseball - 6th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 7th-place


Fat Monkey Butz

manager: Pistol Pete

email: rosario_r_81@yahoo.com

location: Stockton, California

2010 Baseball - 8th-place

2009-2010 Basketball – 9th-place


Herren Pils

manager: Hoops

email: dhoops@charter.net

alias: Franconia Wombats

location: Duluth, Minnesota

2010 Baseball – 12th-place


Glory Guys

manager: Ol’ Jim Hutton

email: jimhutton1@hotmail.com

alias: Deadwood Demons

location: Deadwood, Texas

2010 Baseball – 14th-place


Redskin Mark

manager: Redskin Mark

email: mzentko@earthlink.net

alias: Memphis Redbirds

location: Memphis, Tennessee

2010 Baseball (midseason) – 2nd-place

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Vidi Vici: Erin Andrews Spotted in UNC Dorm Room

With files from the AP



CHAPEL HILL, NC - Fresh off his herculean Pigskin Bowl victory over the previously undefeated Birdmen of St. Louis, the Tar Heels' coach Francisco was photographed with ESPN's Erin Andrews, buying wine among other things, at a liquor store off-campus. The couple then drove off in Andrews' 2010 Chrysler Crossfire, but were later seen pulling up to the men's dorm buildings.



You'd think that the trail would have ended when the couple entered the building. But you'd be wrong. The relentless photographer followed them inside, where he later captured some [ahem] candid shots inside Coach Francisco's dorm room.


(WARNING!! NSFW)


I have no idea what she's holding in this picture, but it looks to me like she has broken a piece off of the Pigskin Bowl, and is either using it to curl her hair or else .... nevermind. Let's stick with curling her hair.

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