By Spezzal Teams Playa
Last season, our baseball league ran a regular rundown of the best performances of the week. The feature was called Most Offensive Line and highlighted the best five bats, according to our league settings. I teamed those picks with the best five arms (Pitchers Worth a Thousand Words), the worst five arms (Belly-Itcher Citations), and the worst five bats (No Offence Man Citations).
I had started by publishing nightly reports of these 20 players, but found that it was too much of a commitment, so I dropped them to a weekly basis.
This year, I thought it would be easier to only feature about 11 or 12 players and once again attempted to provide nightly reports on these stars, in a feature I called Box Score'd. When that again proved impossible (duh), I decided to come up with a monthly report. Since a once-a-month article didn't seem like much work, I decided that it'd spotlight 70 players and got to work on constructing a table.
Well that was like, almost three days ago.
Now that I've finally figured out how to use this internets, I present to you a new feature which purports to answer the question of what would the most lopsided Matchup have looked like if, ya know, we played monthly Matchups and stuff.
So I gathered the best April performers and placed them on the All-Star Team, then gathered the worst performers and called their group the Bad News Bears. Think of it like a Harlem Globetrotters versus Washington Generals lineup card. From there, I crowned one of the All-Stars the winner of this digital pageant (basically, the Player of the Month), while also singling out the worst performer of all.
- Phase 1: Have a look to see where your guys rank
- Phase 2: Spot the buy-low targets
- Phase 3: Profit
MLB All-Stars| Lineup | Rank | Player | Pos | Club | Owner | ORank | Owned | AB | R | H | HR | RBI | BB | SB | SB% | FPCT | DPT | PO | A | OFA | AVG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| C | 120 | Miguel Olivo | C | Cld | Bastards | 479 | 64% | 55 | 10 | 16 | 5 | 13 | 4 | 1 | 1.000 | 1.000 | 0 | 115 | 13 | - | .291 | .933 |
| 1B | 9 | Miguel Cabrera | 1B | Det | Stittsville | 11 | 98% | 96 | 16 | 33 | 5 | 25 | 13 | 0 | .000 | .991 | 27 | 214 | 14 | - | .344 | 1.042 |
| 2B | 1 | Robinson Cano | 2B | NYY | Deadwood | 43 | 98% | 85 | 21 | 34 | 8 | 18 | 6 | 2 | .500 | .991 | 17 | 40 | 74 | - | .400 | 1.201 |
| 3B | 5 | Evan Longoria | 3B | TB | Isle Wynn | 7 | 98% | 88 | 22 | 30 | 5 | 18 | 10 | 3 | .600 | .944 | 8 | 22 | 45 | - | .341 | 1.002 |
| SS | 25 | Derek Jeter | SS | NYY | Deadwood | 34 | 98% | 94 | 14 | 31 | 4 | 18 | 3 | 3 | .750 | .975 | 12 | 32 | 47 | - | .330 | .875 |
| LF | 3 | Ryan Braun | LF | Mil | Deadwood | 5 | 99% | 93 | 19 | 33 | 5 | 20 | 12 | 6 | 1.000 | .974 | 0 | 37 | 1 | 1 | .355 | 1.011 |
| CF | 6 | Vernon Wells | CF | Tor | Franconia | 185 | 93% | 92 | 20 | 31 | 8 | 16 | 8 | 1 | 1.000 | 1.000 | 1 | 55 | 1 | 1 | .337 | 1.113 |
| RF | 7 | Matt Kemp | CF/RF | LAD | FatMonkeyButz | 6 | 99% | 97 | 20 | 27 | 7 | 20 | 8 | 3 | .375 | .981 | 0 | 53 | 0 | 0 | .278 | .879 |
| BN | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| BN | 11 | Paul Konerko | 1B | CWS | FatMonkeyButz | 277 | 73% | 74 | 13 | 22 | 11 | 21 | 15 | 0 | - | .994 | 15 | 158 | 10 | - | .297 | 1.197 |
| BN | 14 | Kelly Johnson | 2B | Ari | Sunnyvale | 889 | 75% | 80 | 17 | 25 | 9 | 18 | 13 | 0 | - | .976 | 11 | 29 | 53 | - | .313 | 1.154 |
| BN | 17 | Carl Crawford | LF | TB | Sunnyvale | 19 | 98% | 89 | 17 | 30 | 2 | 13 | 9 | 7 | .700 | 1.000 | 0 | 40 | 4 | 4 | .337 | .941 |
| BN | 19 | Colby Rasmus | CF/RF | StL | El Paso | 190 | 80% | 65 | 19 | 21 | 6 | 12 | 17 | 3 | .600 | .976 | 0 | 39 | 1 | 1 | .323 | 1.171 |
| BN | 21 | Jose Guillen | RF | KC | Colt 45 | 963 | 82% | 92 | 14 | 28 | 7 | 19 | 3 | 1 | 1.000 | 1.000 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .304 | .946 |
| BN | 24 | Mark Reynolds | 1B/3B | Ari | Isle Wynn | 38 | 97% | 79 | 18 | 19 | 7 | 21 | 14 | 1 | 1.000 | .967 | 2 | 22 | 36 | - | .241 | .909 |
| BN | 31 | Alex Gonzalez | SS | Tor | Isle Wynn | 1095 | 67% | 97 | 14 | 28 | 7 | 19 | 3 | 1 | 1.000 | .965 | 21 | 31 | 79 | - | .289 | .946 |
| BN | 123 | Jorge Posada | C | NYY | Isle Wynn | 165 | 92% | 58 | 11 | 18 | 5 | 12 | 7 | 0 | - | .981 | 0 | 102 | 3 | - | .310 | 1.032 |
| DL | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| DL | 15 | Nelson Cruz | RF | Tex | Golden Carp | 63 | 96% | 62 | 12 | 20 | 7 | 17 | 10 | 5 | 1.000 | 1.000 | 1 | 43 | 1 | 1 | .323 | 1.177 |
| DL | 179 | Manny Ramirez | LF | LAD | Fowl Play | 89 | 93% | 41 | 7 | 17 | 2 | 12 | 9 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 0 | 17 | 0 | 0 | .415 | 1.159 |
| Lineup | Rank | Player | Pos | Club | Owner | ORank | Owned | IP | QS | W | SV | SVOP | NSV | HLD | K | K/BB | K/9 | H/9 | BB/9 | ERA | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| SP | 2 | Tim Lincecum | SP | SF | Franconia | 14 | 99% | 35.1 | 5 | 4 | - | - | - | - | 43 | 6.14 | 10.95 | 5.604 | 1.783 | 1.27 | 0.82 |
| RP | 29 | Tyler Clippard | RP | Wsh | Koo Koo Roos | 254 | 50% | 18.0 | - | 3 | 0 | 1 | -1 | 6 | 23 | 2.56 | 11.50 | 3.500 | 4.500 | 0.50 | 0.89 |
| RP | 46 | Matt Capps | RP | Wsh | Muff Divers | 434 | 79% | 13.1 | - | 0 | 10 | 10 | 10 | - | 15 | 2.50 | 10.13 | 8.100 | 4.050 | 0.68 | 1.35 |
| RP | 51 | Mariano Rivera | RP | NYY | FatMonkeyButz | 83 | 98% | 9.0 | - | 0 | 7 | 7 | 7 | - | 9 | 4.50 | 9.00 | 3.000 | 2.000 | 0.00 | 0.56 |
| RP | 52 | Kevin Gregg | RP | Tor | Fowl Play | 394 | 72% | 11 | - | 0 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 1 | 14 | 14.00 | 11.45 | 4.909 | 0.818 | 0.82 | 0.64 |
| RP | 65 | Leo Nunez | RP | Fla | Sunnyvale | 195 | 84% | 9.1 | - | 1 | 4 | 5 | 3 | - | 10 | 2.00 | 9.64 | .964 | 4.821 | 0.00 | 0.64 |
| RP | 67 | Carlos Marmol | RP | ChC | Bastards | 119 | 96% | 11.2 | - | 1 | 3 | 4 | 2 | - | 22 | 4.40 | 16.97 | 5.400 | 3.857 | 0.77 | 1.03 |
| BN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| BN | 4 | Ubaldo Jimenez | SP | Cld | Isle Wynn | 71 | 98% | 34.1 | 5 | 5 | - | - | - | - | 31 | 2.21 | 8.13 | 5.767 | 3.670 | 0.79 | 1.05 |
| BN | 8 | Roy Halladay | SP | Phi | STL Birds | 20 | 99% | 40.0 | 4 | 4 | - | - | - | - | 33 | 11.00 | 7.43 | 8.100 | 0.675 | 1.80 | 0.98 |
| BN | 10 | Barry Zito | SP | SF | Perrysburg | 452 | 80% | 35.1 | 5 | 4 | - | - | - | - | 24 | 2.18 | 6.11 | 5.094 | 2.802 | 1.53 | 0.88 |
| BN | 12 | Adam Wainwright | SP | StL | CT Defenders | 61 | 98% | 38.0 | 5 | 4 | - | - | - | - | 30 | 3.75 | 7.11 | 6.158 | 1.895 | 2.13 | 0.89 |
| BN | 16 | Francisco Liriano | SP/RP | Min | Muff Divers | 1021 | 86% | 29.0 | 4 | 3 | - | - | - | - | 27 | 2.70 | 8.38 | 5.586 | 3.103 | 0.93 | 0.97 |
| BN | 18 | John Danks | SP | CWS | Dakota Magic | 111 | 93% | 29.0 | 4 | 3 | - | - | - | - | 26 | 4.33 | 8.07 | 5.897 | 1.862 | 1.55 | 0.86 |
| BN | 71 | David Aardsma | RP | Sea | Chesapeake | 271 | 88% | 9.2 | - | 0 | 8 | 9 | 7 | - | 11 | 3.67 | 10.24 | 3.724 | 2.793 | 2.79 | 0.72 |
| DL | |||||||||||||||||||||
| DL | 149 | Brett Anderson | SP | Oak | STL Birds | 123 | 79% | 23.0 | 3 | 1 | - | - | - | - | 17 | 4.25 | 6.65 | 7.826 | 1.565 | 2.35 | 1.04 |
| DL | 190 | Chris Young | SP | SD | STL Birds | 345 | 23% | 6.0 | 1 | 1 | - | - | - | - | 5 | 1.67 | 7.50 | 1.500 | 4.500 | 0.00 | 0.67 |
| DL | 192 | Jorge De La Rosa | SP | Cld | Perrysburg | 193 | 69% | 23.0 | 1 | 3 | - | - | - | - | 26 | 2.00 | 10.17 | 7.826 | 5.087 | 3.91 | 1.43 |
Bad News Bears
| Lineup | Rank | Player | Pos | Club | Owner | ORank | Owned | AB | R | H | HR | RBI | BB | SB | SB% | FPCT | DPT | PO | A | OFA | AVG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| C | 1433 | A.J. Pierzynski | C | CWS | Hell Lions | 334 | 27% | 65 | 4 | 11 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 0 | 141 | 6 | - | .169 | .429 |
| 1B | 1093 | Matt LaPorta | 1B/LF/RF | Cle | FatMonkeyButz | 1116 | 4% | 60 | 5 | 13 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 13 | 8 | 6 | 0 | .217 | .538 |
| 2B | 1406 | Ian Kinsler | 2B | Tex | CT Defenders | 16 | 98% | 5 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 1 | 4 | 2 | - | .200 | .400 |
| 3B | 1283 | Pedro Alvarez | 3B | Pit | STL Birds | 1399 | 2% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| SS | 1393 | Brendan Ryan | 2B/SS | StL | Dakota Magic | 751 | 3% | 67 | 5 | 12 | 0 | 4 | 9 | 0 | - | .978 | 14 | 24 | 63 | - | .179 | .515 |
| LF | 1104 | Matt Diaz | LF/RF | Atl | Koo Koo Roos | 332 | 3% | 46 | 2 | 9 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1.000 | .941 | 0 | 16 | 0 | 0 | .196 | .490 |
| CF | 1408 | Ben Francisco | LF/CF/RF | Phi | Bastards | 340 | 1% | 18 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 1 | .222 | .578 |
| RF | 1174 | Michael Stanton | RF | Fla | STL Birds | 1384 | 3% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| BN | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| BN | 1095 | David Ortiz | 1B | Bos | Muff Divers | 125 | 51% | 56 | 5 | 8 | 1 | 4 | 7 | 0 | .000 | - | - | - | - | - | .143 | .524 |
| BN | 1314 | Brett Wallace | 3B | Tor | Dakota Magic | 1407 | 1% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| BN | 1407 | Jayson Nix | 2B/3B/SS | CWS | Colt 45 | 1073 | 0% | 15 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | - | .923 | 0 | 6 | 6 | - | .200 | .400 |
| BN | 1415 | Garrett Anderson | LF | LAD | Fowl Play | 450 | 1% | 41 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 1 | .122 | .379 |
| BN | 1439 | Dioner Navarro | C | TB | Koo Koo Roos | 1069 | 1% | 44 | 4 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 0 | - | .989 | 0 | 81 | 7 | - | .136 | .367 |
| BN | 1442 | Julio Lugo | 2B/SS | Bal | Koo Koo Roos | 1020 | 1% | 28 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1.000 | .974 | 5 | 17 | 20 | - | .107 | .274 |
| BN | 1448 | Randy Wynn | LF/CF/RF | NYY | Franconia | 225 | 9% | 13 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | - | 1.000 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | .077 | .154 |
| BN | 1449 | Eric Byrnes | LF | Sea | CT Defenders | 1090 | 0% | 28 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 1.000 | 1.000 | 0 | 24 | 0 | 0 | .107 | .444 |
| DL | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| DL | 1114 | Mike Cameron | CF | Bos | Isle Wynn | 230 | 16% | 30 | 2 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | - | .964 | 0 | 26 | 1 | 1 | .233 | .694 |
| DL | 1353 | Carlos Beltran | CF | NYM | STL Birds | 159 | 68% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| DL | 1131 | Coco Crisp | CF | Oak | STL Birds | 1043 | 1% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| DL | 1208 | Freddy Sanchez | 2B | SF | Bastards | 266 | 11% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| DL | 1232 | Jose Morales | C | Min | Hell Lions | 1198 | 0% | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | - |
| Lineup | Rank | Player | Pos | Club | Owner | ORank | Owned | IP | QS | W | SV | SVOP | NSV | HLD | K | K/BB | K/9 | H/9 | BB/9 | ERA | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| SP | 1462 | Nick Blackburn | SP | Min | Franconia | 274 | 17% | 23.2 | 1 | 1 | - | - | - | - | 7 | 0.88 | 2.66 | 12.541 | 3.042 | 6.85 | 1.73 |
| RP | 978 | Trevor Hoffman | RP | Mil | Perrysburg | 253 | 72% | 9.0 | - | 1 | 3 | 7 | -1 | - | 5 | 1.60 | 5.00 | 15.000 | 3.000 | 13.00 | 2.00 |
| RP | 979 | Rafael Perez | RP | Cle | Colt 45 | 981 | 0% | 7.0 | - | 0 | - | - | - | - | 5 | 1.00 | 5.55 | 15.429 | 6.429 | 5.14 | 2.43 |
| RP | 987 | Jason Frasor | RP | Tor | CT Defenders | 276 | 21% | 9.2 | - | 0 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 2 | 13 | 1.63 | 12.10 | 15.828 | 7.448 | 8.38 | 2.59 |
| RP | 1023 | Randy Williams | RP | CWS | Golden Carp | 677 | 0% | 9.2 | - | 0 | 0 | 1 | -1 | - | 9 | 0.64 | 8.38 | 10.241 | 13.034 | 4.66 | 2.59 |
| RP | 1026 | Danys Baez | RP | Phi | Lightning Bolts | 451 | 1% | 9.0 | - | 0 | 0 | 2 | -2 | 2 | 4 | 0.80 | 4.00 | 10.000 | 5.000 | 9.00 | 1.67 |
| RP | 1032 | Nick Masset | RP | Cin | Fowl Play | 323 | 3% | 10.1 | - | 2 | - | - | - | 1 | 17 | 2.13 | 14.81 | 14.806 | 6.968 | 11.32 | 2.42 |
| BN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| BN | 1463 | John Lannan | SP | Wsh | Koo Koo Roos | 462 | 3% | 27.2 | 2 | 1 | - | - | - | - | 10 | 0.67 | 3.25 | 11.711 | 4.880 | 5.53 | 1.84 |
| BN | 1464 | Kyle Kendrick | SP/RP | Phi | Muff Divers | 749 | 1% | 23.2 | 1 | 0 | - | - | - | - | 12 | 1.20 | 4.56 | 11.028 | 3.803 | 7.61 | 1.65 |
| BN | 1465 | Josh Beckett | SP | Bos | Muff Divers | 88 | 96% | 28.2 | 2 | 1 | - | - | - | - | 20 | 1.54 | 6.28 | 11.616 | 4.081 | 7.22 | 1.74 |
| BN | 1466 | Rick Porcello | SP | Det | Stittsville | 140 | 63% | 24.2 | 1 | 2 | - | - | - | - | 16 | 2.67 | 5.84 | 14.959 | 2.189 | 8.03 | 1.91 |
| BN | 1470 | Jake Peavy | SP | CWS | Fowl Play | 138 | 80% | 28.2 | 1 | 0 | - | - | - | - | 22 | 1.10 | 6.91 | 10.047 | 6.279 | 7.85 | 1.81 |
| BN | 1473 | Gil Meche | SP | KC | Lightning Bolts | 887 | 1% | 18.2 | 0 | 0 | - | - | - | - | 12 | 0.80 | 5.79 | 13.018 | 7.232 | 10.13 | 2.25 |
| BN | 1053 | Scot Shields | RP | LAA | Colt 45 | 613 | 0% | 6.0 | - | 0 | 0 | 1 | -1 | 0 | 5 | 0.63 | 7.50 | 12.000 | 12.000 | 10.50 | 2.67 |
And the player adjudged to have hurt his owner more than any other, singled out as the Great Goat is:
Gil Meche
Which means the winner of the month and your newly crowned Miss Match Up is:
[drum roll ....]
Robinson Cano
