Bracketeering: Historical MLB Players

by Spezzal Teams Playa

Above, you will find a blank bracket that you can use to predict the winners in our eventual coaches' poll. And don't forget that you can vote already for the 'play-in' matchup between George Davis and John Clarkson, to see who gets the final 16-seed in the Infielders Region.

I highly recommend that you DO NOT try "penning" them onto the .jpg using MS-Paint, but maybe some other photoshop program wouldn't take as long. Here is what took me an hour to "handwrite":

[UPDATE: April 2nd]

The first round of polling now complete, we can see that there were many upsets and several places where my own predicted backet was busted. Here are the results:

[UPDATE: April 8th]

After two rounds, we have narrowed things down to the Sweet Sixteen. My own personal bracket (above) is now thoroughly busted, as Babe Ruth was upset by Ted Williams. Here are the rest of the scores:

[UPDATE: April 10th]

After three rounds, we are down to the Elite Eight, with each "region" pitting its two "best" players against each other. Here is the new bracket:

[UPDATE: April 11th]

After four rounds, we have finally reached the Final Four, with no two same seeds having advanced this far. We are down to a single one-seed (Cy Young), and single two-seed (Rogers Hornsby), a single five-seed (Christy Mathewson), and the nominal Cinderella, Ted Williams, the eight-seed from the Outfielders. Here are the deets:

[UPDATE: April 13th]

Just to wrap things up over here on the blog, we ended up voting, 5 to 1, for Cy Young as the top pitcher, and voted 4 to 2 for Ted Williams as the top hitter. We followed that up with Ted Williams besting Cy Young by 4 votes to 2, to capture the title of Best Baller in Baseball History.

Thanks to all for participating in this lengthy, and not always interesting exercise.

Feel Like Going to a Movie? How About Moneyball?

By Chris Barrymore


It was a rare night out at the movies, and for once it wasn't a cartoon. No, this time, kid coverage had been arranged and it was a night out with the wife. Our choice, perhaps surprisingly given that my wife is an avid non-baseball fan, was Moneyball.

No spoilers here, be assured. Besides, this is a story that played out in the Major Leagues ten years ago. So even if I did include spoilers they wouldn't really spoil anything. (At least not of the same magnitude as telling someone that Bruce Willis is really dead the whole time in The Sixth Sense, or that Nicole Kidman and her kids are the ghosts in The Others). Anyway, there I go digressing again.

I was a bit nervous about how much (or how little) I would actually be able to get into this film. I am not a great baseball mind. I am not even an average baseball mind. Sure, I follow the Twins a bit and hope they win, and am exposed to a lot of Twins coverage in the local media. In the summer, it is kind of hard to ignore. But I can't say that I am a student of the game.

However, I found that the story of the early 21st century Oakland teams ran slightly parallel to the Twins and their approach, at least up until a few years ago when the Twins starting inflating their payroll.

Brad Pitt is usually good, although I found myself hoping that at some point in the film he would say, "The first rule of Moneyball is that you do not talk about Moneyball". Jonah Hill played a more straightforward character here, but he still generated a few laughs. Felt it was a bit long during certain parts, but had a nice sweet ending. And no, I did not cry. Because there is no crying in baseball. Or in baseball movies.

My Rating: 9 Drews out of 10

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The Top Ten List: Baseball Wives and Girlfriends

By Chris Barrymore


In spite of an overwhelming lack of demand for a new Top Ten List of any kind, and the fact I blew through most of what I would classify as my good ideas last season, and the fact I may have been dealing with a case of writer’s block (even though I am not a writer), I managed to scrape together a new post. Speaking of writer’s block, consider if one had writer’s block and then tried to write about having writer’s block. Said blocked writer could discuss what caused their block to happen, what they did to avoid the daily torment of not writing, and how they successfully overcame it with a 1000 page book about writer’s block. Might work for some, but to me it sounds like a clear path to the asylum.

Yet another clear path to the asylum is having family visit you in three separate waves since the beginning of June, including a certain league manager’s mother. The last of these visits just ended only last Saturday, which is perhaps why I am suddenly feeling motivated and inspired once again. And what better way to exercise that inspiration than to talk about steaming hot women that I will never meet with co-managers who I will also likely never meet.

As always, I digress. We all know that athletes and musicians get all the babes. Despite how much we may adore the significant others in our lives, the women here are quite possibly from another world.

As a follow up to The Top Ten List: Hockey Wives and Girlfriends, I am humbled to present The Top Ten List: Baseball Wives and Girlfriends.

The same disclaimers from the hockey list apply here.

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Brittany Binger (Grady Sizemore, Cle) - A former Playmate of the month for Mr. Sizemore.

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Krystle Campbell (Ryan Howard, Phi) - I was going to use the requisite "hitting lots of home runs" joke here, but I needed it later on, so let's try this. Ryan Howard is scoring touchdowns with this Eagles' cheerleader more than just on Sundays in the fall.

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Joanna Garcia (Nick Swisher, NYY) - Married to the Yankees outfielder since last December, this actress was once the homecoming queen at Florida’s Tampa Catholic High School. For those of you whose minds may be wandering already, let me clarify that this was a co-ed school. Thus, the ability to name a queen and king for prom, as opposed to just a bunch of queens.

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Heidi Hamels (Cole Hamels, Phi) – This former Survivor contestant married the Phillies’ pitcher on New Year’s Eve 2006. On Survivor: The Amazon, Heidi lasted longer than most, being the 12th contestant (out of 16) to be voted off. A notable moment of this season occurred during a challenge testing players’ endurance against temptation. While all the players were standing on a pillar, the players were told they would be tempted with various rewards for hopping off voluntarily. Almost immediately, Jenna Morasca (the eventual champion) and Heidi Strobel offered to remove all of their clothes if they were provided with chocolate and peanut butter. The host complied with their request, and a very naked Jenna and Heidi exited the challenge and ate their plates of Oreos and peanut butter. Their escapades earned them a cover shot and pictorial in Playboy.

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Marikym Hervieux (Russell Martin, NYY) – He may be having a poor season at the plate (.222 Avg), but something tells me Martin’s average is much higher once he gets home.

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Kate Hudson (Alex Rodriguez, NYY) – Although not together any longer, one would hesitate to argue over Ms. Hudson’s inclusion here. It should also be noted that she was once married to The Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson, but eventually separated due to “irreconcilable differences”. This could be taken to mean that good old Chris was just smoking too damn much pot. Now engaged to another musician, Matt Bellamy of Muse, this is one starlet who seems to have eyes for both athletes and musicians. Maybe one day she can find someone who is both.

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Minka Kelly (Derek Jeter, NYY) - The Yankees just have it all, don't they. Bright lights, big city, amazing babes. Jeter has been through his share of women, but I'd still be shocked if he didn't stop with this one.

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Emily Kuchar (Zack Greinke, Mil) - Emily is a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She is also Miss Daytona Beach USA 2008. However, these two are high school sweethearts, having met at Apopka High School in Orange County, Florida. Awwwwwww.

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Jennifer Lopez (Felipe Lopez, TB) – A picture is worth a thousand words, so I need add nothing. Except for one thing: Why is my name not Felipe Lopez? And besides, I must be up to around 800 words by now, no?

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Diana Roberts (Brian Roberts, Bal) - Brian Roberts is another player having a poor season at the plate (.221 avg), but you know he's hitting home runs after every home game. Ba-dum-chhhh

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Not a Fucking Sport: Drew Barrymore's New Band

By Chris Barrymore


Long ago, in a galaxy far away, there was a certain member of these leagues (who shall remain nameless) that was dealing with a certain fascination with one Ms. Drew Barrymore. For those of you who remember and have tried to forget, I apologize. For those of you who were never exposed to it, I envy you.

But at one time, in the far reaches of this league manager’s mind, it was conjured up that Drew Barrymore started a rock band. This band was called Drew Barrymore and the Slapshots, if I recall. The band released a collection of songs on various formats (my preference being the special edition double LP vinyl) filled with hockey themed songs of suggestive double entendres and innuendo. Needless to say, the record/CD/8 track/cassette/MP3/digital whatever sold millions and was a huge hit.

Now, being the ambitious, creative, intriguing, and mesmerizing person that she is, Ms. Barrymore decided that just doing that hockey album was not enough. Even though she loves hockey and cannot wait for it to start again and is thinking about doing a countdown to when the hockey drafts might start, she wanted to do a quick side project and put together a new band to do a record about baseball. The name of this band, you ask? Drew Barrymore and the Ball Boys.

Here are the details of this stunning new release:

TRACKLISITING:

Squeeze Play
Foul Territory
Sweet Spot
Bottom of the Ninth
Blowing the Save
Bushleaguer
Getting to First Base
Outside My Strike Zone
No Hitting (On Me Tonight)
One Night Home Stand
Juiced

Of course, given the explicit content, Walmart is refusing to carry this. So you will need to search elsewhere for your must-have copy.

Well, time to go and watch Fever Pitch again.

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Travelling Riverside Blues: Lester(DL) or Haren?

By Scott We Go


Damn, Minneapolis Maulers dude. Is Jon Lester (all by himself AND on the DL) that much more valuable than Dan Haren, Nelson Cruz AND Tyler Clippard?

Because I'm confused why you would reject my fine offer and accept that one.

[Editor's Note: Here is Minneapolis Mauler's reply]

Trade talks with you seemed like they had come to a stalling point. I don't like or want any part of Nelson Cruz and you wanted a lot more than Drabek, Rizzo, and Walker.

Bottom line: if I'm making offers to you, I'm likely making offers to others, as well. The first manager to come to an agreement will get the deal done.

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Souvenir Game Program: FavTeam League 2011

By Spezzal Teams Playa


Welcome, everybody. Please take your name tag and sign the guest book. The punch table is over there, and the buffet is along the back wall. I hope you all have fun and get to know your neighbours.

I have listed everyone in order of seniority within the Sports Talk Pool. You'll note that while most faces look familiar from the various leagues, there are five rookie General Managers in Bakersfield, Cambridge, Daytona Beach, Greensboro and Kalamazoo.

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Stittsville Blue Jays

manager: Spezzal Teams Playa

email: spezzalteamsplaya@gmail.com

aliases: Nepean Hotspurs, Tito "TD" O'Dell

location: Ottawa, Ontario

date joined: September 2007


Last Season - 11th

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 5th
2009 Baseball – 11th

2010-2011 Hockey - 11th
2009-2010 Hockey – 10th
2008-2009 Hockey – 4th
2007-2008 Hockey – 9th

2010-2011 Basketball – 4th
2009-2010 Basketball – 10th
2008-2009 Basketball – 2009 League Champion

2010 Football – 3rd
2009 Football - 14th
2008 Football – 10th

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Power Rays

manager: Chris St. Paul

email: cjk863@yahoo.com

aliases: St. Paul Sidewinders, St. Paul Hell Lions, Minnesota Frostbite, By-Tor & the Snow Dogs

location: St.Paul, Minnesota

date joined: September 2007


Last Season - 3rd


2010 Baseball Dynasty – 6th
2009 Baseball – 12th

2010-2011 Hockey – 7th
2009-2010 Hockey – 4th
2008-2009 Hockey – 3rd
2007-2008 Hockey – 10th

2010-2011 Basketball – 13th
2009-2010 Basketball – 2nd

2010 Football – 8th
2009 Football – 17th

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Alameda Athletics

manager: Yatagon Dan

email: yatagon@hotmail.com

aliases: Alameda Rat Bastards, Alameda Evil Baldmen

location: Oakland, California

date joined: August 2008


Last Season - 9th

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 17th

2010-2011 Hockey – 20th
2009-2010 Hockey – 2nd

2010 Football – 11th
2009 Football – 12th
2008 Football – 2nd

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Durham Cubs

manager: Mex Francisco

email: uncmex@yahoo.com

aliases: UNC, North Carolina Hockey, Michael Jordan

location: Chapel Hill, North Carolina

date joined: August 2008


Last Season - did not play

2010-2011 Hockey – Reigning League Champion

2010-2011 Basketball – 15th

2010 Football – 14th-place
2009 Football – 2009 League Champion
2008 Football – 9th

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Westfield Pirates

manager: Hockey Guru

email: cbsbaseball2002@yahoo.com

aliases: Westfield Muff Divers, Clubhouse Chemistry, Cherry Blasts

location: Westfield, Massachusetts

date joined: September 2008


Last Season - 5th

2009 Baseball - 10th

2010-2011 Hockey - 3rd
2009-2010 Hockey – 5th
2008-2009 Hockey – 5th

2010 Football - 6th
2009 Football – 9th

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Dakota Orioles

manager: Dakota Steve

email: hills@itcmilbank.com

aliases: Dakota Magic, Dakota Flash, Eastside Slammers

location: Sioux Falls, South Dakota

date joined: October 2008


Last Season - 19th

2009 Baseball – 2nd

2009-2010 Basketball – 19th
2008-2009 Basketball – 7th

2010 Football – 20th
2009 Football – 11th

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Ashland Rangers

manager: Trader Dick

email: krb1keeper@yahoo.com

aliases: Cleveland Keepers, Cleveland Bronsucks, Great Lakes Loons

location: Ashland, Ohio

date joined: October 2008


Last Season - did not play

2009 Baseball – 2009 League Champion

2010-2011 Basketball - 5th
2009-2010 Basketball - 18th
2008-2009 Basketball - 3rd

2010 Football – 13th
2009 Football - 18th

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Perrysburg Reds

manager: Big Storm

email: lonnitschke@hotmail.com

aliases: Perrysburg Pain, Perrysburg Polliwog, Perrysburg Phreakz

location: Perrysburg, Ohio

date joined: March 2009


Last Season - Reigning League Champion

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 14th
2009 Baseball – 16th

2010-2011 Hockey – 4th
2009-2010 Hockey – 18th

2010 Football - 12th

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Wailuku Phillies

manager: Div'er Down Dave

email: fastwillie.parker@yahoo.com

aliases: Wailuku Fowl Play, Manoa Morays, Wailuku Warriors

location: Manoa, Hawaii

date joined: March 2009


Last Season - 4th

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 3rd
2009 Baseball – 6th

2010-2011 Hockey - 2nd
2009-2010 Hockey – 6th

2010 Football – 7th
2009 Football – 10th

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Odessa Angels

manager: Gary “Ace” Ventura

email: aventuraexisle@yahoo.com

aliases: Odessa Isle Wind, Odessa Ex-Isles, Odessa Snow Jobs

location: Odessa, Florida

date joined: September 2009


Last Season - 2nd

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 9th

2010-2011 Hockey - 6th
2009-2010 Hockey - 3rd

2010 Football - 18th

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Lockport Cardinals

manager: Buzz74

email: aaronverklan@yahoo.com

aliases: Colt 45 Malt Liquor

location: Buffalo, New York

date joined: October 2009


Last Season - 6th

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 20th

2010-2011 Hockey - 17th

2010-2011 Basketball – 2nd
2009-2010 Basketball – 7th

2010 Football - 5th

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Ravenswood Marlins

manager: Pistol Pete

email: rosario_r_81@yahoo.com

aliases: Fat Monkey Butts, Chi-town Bums

location: Ravenswood, Ontario

date joined: October 2009


Last Season - 8th

2010-2011 Basketball – 9th
2009-2010 Basketball – 9th

2010 Football – 2nd

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Edgewater Mets

manager: Dolan

email: pdn418@aol.com

aliases: Finders Keepers

location: Edgewater, Florida

date joined: March 2010


Last Season - did not play in the "main" league

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 10th

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Minneapolis Yankees

manager: Kid Wrassler

email: uwecwrestling@hotmail.com

aliases: Minneapolis Maulers, The Grappler

location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

date joined: March 2010


Last Season - did not play in the "main" league

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 2nd

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Oia Red Sox

manager: Phoenix

email: sdp70@rocketmail.com

aliases: Phoenix Fellatiators

location: Oia, Spain

date joined: March 2010


Last Season - did not play in the "main" league

2010 Baseball Dynasty – 11th

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Bakersfield Brewers

manager: Smokey

email: dmachine0@yahoo.com

location: Bakersfield, California

date joined: March 2011


Last Season - did not play (2011 is his rookie season)

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Cambridge Astros

manager: Amy See Amy Do

email: eden_ac@yahoo.com

aliases: Cambridge Cantabrigi

location: Cambridge, Massachusetts

date joined: March 2011


Last Season - did not play (2011 is her rookie season)

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Daytona Beach Braves

manager: Daily Wesley

email: hidden@ddress.com

location: Daytona Beach, Florida

date joined: March 2011


Last Season - did not play (2011 is his rookie season)

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Kalamazoo Nationals

manager: Mystic Daisy

email: mysticdaisy@yahoo.com

location: Kalamazoo, Michigan

date joined: March 2011


Last Season - did not play (2011 is her rookie season)

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Placeholder Mariners

manager: Sens Say

email: hidden@ddress.com

location: Seattle, Washington

date joined: March 2011


Last Season - did not play (2011 is his rookie season)

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